The Definition of Hate
by DiedLaughing
Summary: This is a one-shot told from Draco's point of veiw as he reflects on his life, who he is and the choices he made during and after the second war.


The Definition of Hate

**A/N: so this is just a short little one-shot of Draco after the war. Tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter **

I hate them, mirrors I mean. Why you ask? Why would someone so arrogant and conceited hate mirrors? Well then I will tell you. I hate them because they cannot lie to you. They reflect back everything I try to hide from, they reflect back me. That's what I hate most of all not the mirrors or the people who always say you did have a choice, as much as I hate the people who hate me without knowing what I did, I hate myself more.

I hate who I've become. I had reasons for what I did but no one can see that and they have become irrelevant even to me. I am hated and I am the essence hate itself, and I hate that I hate so much of this world all because it hates me.

I am sure you are going to ask who could anyone hate more than Voldemort, well I certainly hate myself and I can't blame him for being the spineless arrogant coward that I am. People are right when they say I had a choice. Yes I did have a choice it was serve the Dark Lord or die an excruciatingly painful death after watching him kill my parents as well.

I could have been noble like Potter; I could have stood up and died anyway. I didn't and I will admit to my own faults. But Potter was ensured he would return I was not given that chance, only the choice and you all say I chose the wrong one.

Yet what would you have done had he come to you and told you to kill a man for him. Would you have done it or would you have died. No you would have done it because you are not all Harry Freakin' Potter, despite what you want to think you are. Face reality, I did and I'm alive but inside I've died from the hatred I have for the world and myself.

You think I don't know that I am a monster because I can assure to you that I know this for a fact. Every day it eats away at me as reminder of what I did of what I have become, every day I lose more and more of my humanity and my sanity, because I am the essence of hate. My skin is coated in cold sweat and my eyes look more frantic black then the icy gray they use to be. My hair grows in wild directions and I no longer have any control, over anything. I can't control even my hair let alone my emotional turmoil.

Everyone one who thinks they can 'help' me says it has to get worse before it gets better. They say that I just have to work through this and get past the hate from my well past. A warrior's scar can fade but you strain too much and it tears open again revealing a new wound. Every time I think I have moved on old scars reopen. They can open at the mere glance at a face I use to know and they can open with one word.

I get it, I really do we all have scars, we don't ever truly heal, it's not just me. I've been told that a thousand times but that doesn't change how I feel and it probably never will. There are many things I hate because when you are hate than that's all you know how to do. I am always hiding but you can't hide even from your inner hate and you can't hide from yourself. I hate but you know what kills me, kindness. A small smile in my direction and it sends me over the edge. People think they actually understand but they don't because you don't know what I'm capable of; you don't know what I've done! Kindness towards me, I am astounded when someone says thank you to me. Why would anyone thank me? I do not deserve thanks and I certainly don't deserve a kindness because hate is not kind. If I am hate than what part of me could ever hold an ounce of kindness.

I am not entirely here anymore though so the pain of being hate is more bearable. Until I see the mirrors. I force myself to turn, to recognize the monster in the mirror as my own reflection. I am a monster. My name itself means unfaithful serpent, an evil monster, a demon of hatred.

I, Draco Malfoy, am the definition of hate.

**A/N: okay so this was my little one-shot about how Draco hates what the war did to him but more importantly what the choices he made turned him into. Critiques are always welcome, go ahead flame it if you must but it shows you care enough to tell me how I'm doing. In fact you could tell me the name of your pet and I would still be happy because at least you took the time, so please review. **

**READ, WRITE, LOVE FANFICTION**

**~DL**


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